Baby, it’s cold outside

Dear Global Warming,

                                           So I woke up and it was -6 degrees on the scale that Fahrenheit himself made up.  This is unacceptable, how can you be a doomsday type weather pattern of heat and ecological destruction if you can’t get above fucking 0 degrees?  I am not happy with your level of scared shitlessedness and I demand immediate attention.  Do whatever it is you do, and raise the goddamn temperature already.  No way the ice caps are melting when it’s -6, right?  So why don’t you get off your lazy ass and give us a few days in the 60’s.  Also, tell your cousin, snow, that I have seen enough of him until 2015.

Your disgruntled minion,

Zero

 

P.S. I don’t know if it works like this, but can I get a hot chick in a bikini?

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