My red tag super sales event

Have you seen the recent car commercials?  The ones offering red tag deals or employee pricing?  of course you have, the car companies have been saturating the air waves with their terrible deals.  So here’s what’s up, the car companies are all in the shitter, they aren’t sure if congress will bail them out, so they basically all came to the same solution at the same time: A giant red tag sale of pure unadulterated crap.  As we are all aware, the holidays are rapidly approaching, and the car companies are hoping that we have been waiting for now to buy cars (guess what guys?  We haven’t.)

The companies are trying to entice us with such classic advertising lines such as “The price you see is the price you pay”  And they are somehow trying to convince us that the price we see is a ‘good deal’  If you were to go to your local auto-dealer this is what you would see, an MSRP sticker of say $30,000 then a red sticker at $25,000 and that red tag is non-negotiable, but because it is less than the sticker price you assume it’s a good deal.  Sure, it’s a good deal, if you’re name is Ford, and your caviar starved children can’t ride their thoroughbred horses to the slave auction anymore because the car companies are hemorrhaging money like that episode of ducktales where scrooge loses all his money (it happens in like all of them, just pick one).  The car companies are hoping that you are too stupid to realize that you are getting hosed on this deal should you take it, but what the car companies fail to realize is that car sales are going to be way down this quarter.

It doesn’t take an advanced degree to realize the economy is in rehab (that is the economy took too much heroin and is currently strapped down to a table, screaming because imaginary bugs are crawling all over it)  and even the best experts can’t predict how low stocks will fall.  But what is known is that the average stock is down 30% since August, (perfect, let me buy that car!).  Most people are worried about how they will buy their kid that toy they really want for Christmas, let alone even thinking about buying a new car.

But what are the car companies to do?  They are all teetering on the brink of collapse, they need new sales, right?  WRONG.  What the car companies should be doing is thinking about their identity, not throwing money at advertising.  Congress has told the auto manufacturers that it wants to see plans on how they would spend a cash infusion, and the reason Congress did not give it to them is that they had no good ideas.  Rather than think about ways to improve, the car companies basically said “HEYYYYYYYYY” (yes, like the Fonz).  I guess it is not that surpirising the car companies have NO plans for the future, I mean depsite going through a gas crises in the 70’s there was absolutely no thought of looking into alternative fuels.  Now the government has told them, if you want to still have jobs, you have to present viable options.  So keep a weathered eye on the horizon because in early December, after the consumers have bought a total of ZERO cars, look for the executives to have plans for a sustainable future.  What happens in the next few weeks will determine the fate of the entire auto industry.  I’m hoping we cars like in the flinstones!

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