There can be only one

As I’m sure you are well aware this is an important time in this country.  We are witnessing an epic battle fought by two titans.  For what seems like centuries these two behemoths have been taking swipes at each other, gathering support, and trying to get in cheap shots when the other isn’t looking.  We, as citizens, are at the precipice of what can only be called the most monumental vote of our lives.  I am of course talking about the epic battle between Mr. Bacon and Monsieur Tofu.

It has come to this America

It has come to this America

Health care?  Education?  Campaign finance reform?  Foreign policy?  The war in Iraq?  NO!  These candidates care not about such trivial and inconsequential matters.  What is important to these products is ass kicking.  There are no moderators, no silly questions from the mongoloids in the audience, and let’s put it this way, neither of these guys would acknowledge Nancy Reagan being in the hospital, because let’s face it, they put her there.  I know the choice is not easy America; Bacon in all his unhealthy fatty goodness, is definitely the clear favorite, but let’s not forget there is a strong contingent of tofu loving fanatics out there.  And the last time I checked, fanatics were in charge of that whole 9/11 thing, (how many times have you seen Osama Bin laden eating meat????) Luckily for us, we don’t have to worry about who to vote for because the candidates have agreed to a no holds barred death match, from which only one will emerge to lead us to a better tasting America.

So come this November, on the same day as the lesser elections (president schmesident) take place, we will decide once and for all which is the most kick ass food product of all time.  Mr Bacon or Monsieur Tofu.  I leave you with a picture of their first debate

Your ass is mine soy boy

Your ass is mine soy boy


2 Responses to “There can be only one”

  1. Doc Brown Says:

    I’ve just come from the future, a grim future indeed! You must see to it that Bacon stays with Egg as a running partner! Egg’s alliance with Butter and Roll is crucial in winning this epic battle. Without Egg’s powerful friends, Tofu will release harmful images of Bacon naked with his friends Lettuce and Tomato…a devastating blow he will not recover from. Make it happen Marty!

  2. Doc Zoidberg Says:

    I can have candidates for breakfast I can?

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